Sparks of Light Blog

Are you being faithful to yourself?

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If you don’t know who you are, what's important to you, how you want to live your life and what drives you to do what you do,  being true to yourself is likely to be a challenge.  We all play roles in life, we are daughters, sisters, mothers, aunties, cousins, mothers and grandmothers and we get unknowingly caught up in socialised ideas and thoughtforms around how we are supposed to act in those roles.  Our beliefs around how we 'should' think and how we 'should' show up in the world, can greatly interfere with our authentic and instinctive inclinations and soul led desire to be ourselves


Of course, not forgetting an even higher perspective - we are these amazing spiritual beings with infinite potential - but for now, let's focus on our personality self, the self we present to the world.


Being who I think I’m supposed to be - quiet, good, compliant, easy going, shy, reserved – these qualities were embedded in my psyche from a very young age.  Trying to read the expectations of others and acting accordingly – changing my behaviour to match.  This is certainly the best way to lose all sense of who we are and what we want to create in our life by the time we grow up


Thankfully I no longer need to acquire credentials for my skills to be validated (took me years to fathom that one out!), my sole body focus in on health not weight, I don’t have to please everyone all the time - I set clearer boundaries as to what I will and won’t do – yes well, ongoing learning here.  


If I am hiding the real me, then what I give out to others is not authentic. It’s a pretence based on my perceptions of what other people want from me – I’m trying to please by second guessing what their expectations are and I'm fulfilling the criteria I've made up that I think they will like.  They don’t gain either – the person they think I am is not the authentic me and therefore our relationship is based on a false premise that doesn’t serve anyone. Nobody wins here.


I have no control or responsibility over others’ perceptions and opinions of me but I do have control and responsibility for myself.


I need to love myself enough to honour and be faithful to myself, to authentically show the real me to the world.  If I feel under pressure to be someone I'm not, then I need to assert clear boundaries so that I only show up as who I am instead of who I am not.


Be faithful to yourself. Give yourself permission to be the fullest expression of who you truly are, rather than who you believe you are expected to be.  


Share you, this is your gift to the world.